Death by Strings

Oh, my laws. I knew it was going to happen. There was nothing to do but put on a smile, and act pleased. But I tell you, it was tough. I wanted to wince, chuckle, laugh out loud, and cry at the same time.

Practicing for a wedding tonight. Sight reading a bunch of music we were. Pulled out Lennon-McCartney For Strings, Jane did. "Isn't this great? It's your favorite!" Paul proclaimed. "Here we go," Brittany thought.

I'm telling you, there are tons of terrible Beatles arrangements and remakes (my favorites thus far being Ticket to Ride by the Carpenters, and In My Life by Bette Midler), but the worst are with strings. When I say strings, I mean violins, mostly. Come to think of it, jazz choirs aren't so good either. But anyways, it's bad. I had to ask which song they were playing when they played Penny Lane. It was that unrecognizable. I actually own a string quartet plays the Beatles CD , or something along those lines. I accepted the gift politely. I couldn't wait to listen to it. Not because I expected something cool, but something disgustingly entertaining, rather. And it is.

In conclusion, I've uncovered the worst yet. It makes for an excellent (but true) riddle. What do you hear when strings play Norwegian Wood?

All talk, and hopefully some action

From what I’ve seen, summer plans have been the hot topic of conversation lately. I thought it would be good to make a list of my plans because the ideas come and go. If I don’t store them somewhere other then my head, I have a feeling they’ll disappear till next summer. So here you have it:

Get a job: Lame, I know. I figure I’m only in high school once, but I’ll spend the rest of my life working in one way or another. Why not live life while I have it? The reason: my parents. Actually, it’s not all that bad I guess. I’m a pro at wasting time, and filling up my schedule tends to eliminate this problem.

Learn the Napoleon Dynamite Dance: Those in attendance would agree that last summer’s attempt to master this art was pathetic and a total flop due to the awkward situation created by an unexpected visit from a certain neighbor’s boyfriend. However, I plan to conquer and succeed this summer. Who’s with me?

Join Marching Band: This is another one of those things I said I would do last summer, but didn’t. What’s more high school then marching band? Exactly. I’ve always fancied the idea of getting really tan from practice, hanging out with the band geeks, toting a big brass instrument, and investigating this so called, “love bus”. We’ll see how this turns out.

Jaw Surgery: The optimistic new surgeon says that my mouth will only be rubber-banded shut for 2 weeks max, and that he can do the single-jaw surgery and bone grafts at the same time. Should be a joy. Heh, just kidding, we have an update. It's booked till September. I would cross this off, but some have made specific comments on it, and it would throw off their numbering system. Can't have that now.

Learn how to read: Be it a book, magazine, newspaper, or cereal box, I plan on picking up the pace and reading it. I’ve decided there are too many benefits connected with reading to not do it more then I do. Too bad it took me all these years to figure that out.

Finish the Beatles: This is probably the trickiest plan, and might end up being the least likely to occur. I don’t think I can be a true fan if I haven’t heard their stuff, even if all of it isn’t great. I figure I have less then 100 to go though, which is really cool.

Become: A pool shark, a badminton bum, a hiking machine, a sudoku pro, and a biking fool. Now that would be TST.

Touch my toes: This is self explanatory. Definitely the most accomplishable. Tis just a matter of doing it. The hard part is getting past my knees.

I figure this list will grow with other tiny adventures as the seconds tick by. I plan on adding to it as they're thought of. Feel free to come along with me on this journey. To all of you out there with plans for the best summer ever, I say this: Good luck, and may the force be with you!